Run after someone. "Catch-up" with a man: how to run away so that he wins
So you have a hobby. Sometimes this guy drives you crazy and the next minute you feel happy. At one moment you think that all hope is lost, but then you get one message from him, and everything starts all over again. We all know how to play this game simply because we all do it.
All girls hate this game, and to be completely honest with myself, it is really crazy. We begin to analyze everything this guy does, from punctuation marks to the time it takes him to respond to our message. And although it means a lot to us, for a guy, most likely, it means nothing at all. Here are some reasons why you should never run after a guy. And remember, there are no exceptions to these rules.
1. Chasing after someone who isn't interested gives you nothing but the feeling of a vicious circle.
When you meet the right person, you won't have to run after them because both of you will want to be together. Your worlds will change and the only thing you will do is move forward together. Otherwise, you will just be wasting your time making someone fall in love with you.
2. You start to forget about the people who appeared in your life for a reason.
You miss out on treasured moments with friends and family while trying to create shared moments with your passion that will soon be forgotten.
3. You offer your heart to someone who doesn't deserve it.
This is not the person who will look after you, do everything to make you feel good, and who will always be there, because he does not need a life without you.
4. You waste your energy on fleeting hobbies.
You should spend your time focusing on long-term goals, not on what will be important to you for no more than a week.
5. You start to forget things that were and still are important.
You dreamed of something else and hoped for the best, so why settle for the rare phone calls at two in the morning now?
6. You drive yourself crazy
Those rare phone calls and messages are your best friends and your worst nightmare at the same time. You think you are playing a game, but in reality someone is just playing with your feelings.
7. You're chasing a guy instead of just letting life take its course.
Stop analyzing every message received from your crush and let fate put everything in its place. Let the present moment come into your life and don't look for any explanations because there aren't any.
8. Having a passion may be good, but at some point you will get hurt.
Every time your phone turns on, you pray that this is it. And if this, indeed, is him, a goofy expression immediately appears on your face that does not go away for a long time.
9. When he doesn't call, you get nervous and read articles like this one.
Then you realize that time is running out, and he does not answer you, and you were the last one to send a message. This may seem like torture, but you know that you shouldn't send another message, because the previous one remained unanswered. But you do it anyway. In response, you get nothing and get even more upset until he likes your photo on Instagram - and everything starts all over again.
The point is that you shouldn't be chasing someone's heart, chasing another person. Better start running after your dreams and ambitions. Stop running after love, let it look for you.
Today, I hear from many women that men have become kind of lack of initiative, they don’t want to achieve them and are generally lazy. In part, this may be true, since today everyone has switched to the virtual world, spend a lot of time on the Internet, losing strength and energy there and losing their desire: women to admire, men to conquer.
But there is a share of guilt and the women themselves, who turned into hunters. I really like the writer and psychologist Svetlana Ermakova, the creator of the methodology. She very succinctly called such women "catch-ups." Today I want to present some of her tips from the methodology and convey to women one simple thought:
The men have stopped hunting, because the "game" itself runs towards them with open arms. Who would be interested in such a hunt?
In a pair there is always a catcher and a runaway. Or, to put it another way, one loves, and the other allows himself to be loved. This does not always happen, but often. Or in a couple, love is mutual, but one is still always a little more interested in relationships. And it is highly desirable that this “more interested” be a man. This means that he must be catching up, and not vice versa. And today, many women live life "catching up." And then they complain that normal men have disappeared, have become extinct as a species.
No need to chase a man! It is necessary to interest him, ask him riddles and ... run away. And if you do not run away, then they will not catch up with you. And if you are catching up, then they run away from you! Imagine a cow chasing a bull. Or hen after rooster. They calmly do their own thing (nibble grass, peck food) and do not pay attention to males. The rooster will probably be shocked if the chicken suddenly starts running after him, he will clearly consider her “crazy”.
Therefore, the more you run after a man, the faster he will run away from you. As Svetlana put it: “The more a woman suffers from a lack of His love, the more a man suffers from an excess of HER love.” Do not become hookers and catch-ups, take better care of yourself, your inner world and mood.
No need to chase a man
So, how not to stop him from falling in love with you?
I think that you should not run after a man, you already understood. But how to do it in practice and what is this "not running"? And it consists in five non-actions.
5 non-actions
1. Always remember that as soon as you turn into a catch-up, a man loses interest in you. Do not try to please a man in everything and make his life pleasant. Take ONE step towards him only when he takes TWO steps towards you.
2. Do not blame a man for not paying enough attention to you. And behave in such a way that he listens to you. Attention is not required, it is called. Do not ask him questions: “when will you call me”, “where have you been”, “where did you go and when will you come”. Don't tell him: "Hug me", "Kiss me", "Show me off"...
3. Finish the conversation first (including on the phone), without waiting for him to be the first to say goodbye to you. You probably noticed that the one who says goodbye first has some kind of moral advantage (after all, he has things to do and more important than talking).
Men always feel chased (as well as non-chasing), so try to say goodbye first. Your goodbye may not be the end of the conversation, the man will probably continue it. But by your behavior you will create a situation where a man will have to catch up. After all, you are running away!
4. When hugging, no matter how hard it is, step back first. Don't wait for him to pull away from you. Let him hug you, you give in, answer him, but move away first. And don't initiate hugs. For many, they are very inopportune. He can at this moment think about something, be preoccupied with something, and long hugs are imposed on him. This can cause annoyance and a desire for these hugs to end as soon as possible.
When a woman is often the first to hug a man, and even keeps him in these arms for a long time, she deprives him of the opportunity to catch up with her, conquer and win. You are depriving him of his most important need - to catch up (and win)! Men by nature are “winners”, and even if he does not always succeed in winning, he still always wants to do it. Therefore, if your man does not catch up with you, he will catch up with another.
5. Don't let him know that you are "his forever". And don't be the first to tell you that you missed him. This word in itself is very insidious. You think that with this word you make it clear to the man that you are glad to see him. But men often perceive it as "I fell in love, I feel bad without you, I'm all yours."
There is also another meaning. People are very afraid of boredom. Watch people and you will see how almost all their activities are aimed at combating boredom. And when you say you are bored, you sound dangerous, because boredom is contagious!
As soon as you stop running after the man and start running away from him, he will start to catch up with you. When he starts to catch up, he will start thinking a lot about you (“why didn’t she pick up the phone”, “where was she in such a hurry yesterday”, “does she love me”, and so on). The more a man thinks about you, the more he will become attached. The more thoughts, the stronger the love!
The complete technique "Do not stop him from falling in love with you!" can be ordered HERE . There you will also find information about the content of the methodology.
Say goodbye first, leave first, hang up the phone first, and be the first to say goodbye. A man who is interested in you will start to catch up with you. And if not, then this is not your man, and sooner or later your relationship would have ended anyway.
Do not run after a man, but take care of yourself! Fill, fill and fill yourself with love and inner light! Take care of your body, take care of yourself and cherish!
You can also access the free Secret Knowledge Base for Women, which contains many hours of videos on the topic of falling in love, holding and building happy relationships. You can access the database HERE .
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Whether you're tired of chasing the man you love or you just want to feel the thrill that comes when you switch places with your lover, it's absolutely possible to get a man to run after you, and not vice versa.
Steps
Part 1
How to get his attention-
Catch him looking at you and walk away. Of course, you can approach the man who is looking at you and start a conversation. He may enjoy talking to you and fall in love with you even more... or he may become more and more intrigued by a beautiful woman who passed by, and he may want to know more about her. Let his eyes rest on you and wait for him to come to you. Or, if you know you'll see him again, approach him next time.
- Of course, if you really want to approach him, it may intrigue him and seem like something out of the ordinary. You don't have to be so careful if it's not your style.
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Live your life. For guys, there is nothing sexier than a girl who lives her own life. If your life is full of meaning, satisfies you, you follow your career or passion, and have a few hobbies or interests that are important to you, then you will be the one to get to know. Whether you want to be a writer or you just really like to draw, you will interest a guy a lot more if he sees that you are interested in so many things besides himself. If you only watch TV and wait for his call, then he will not be intrigued.
- If you are busy with various interesting things, you can become more interesting person worth getting to know.
- If a guy thinks your schedule is loose because you're not doing anything, then he's less likely to run after you because he'll always know where to find you: at home.
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Surprise him with your confidence. Guys can be intimidated by overconfident girls, but they are also very attracted to them. Show him that you love yourself and what you have to offer the world. Instead of feeling insecure, always complaining, or waiting for confirmation from your boyfriend, know that confirmation comes from within. If you are happy with who you are, the guy will be happier with you because he will know that he can enjoy your company instead of always cheering you on.
- Of course, everyone can work on becoming more confident. Over time, you can start spending more time on the things you love to do, open up your body language and maintain good posture, and forget about the nasty little things you don't like about yourself.
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Flirt with him. You have to flirt if you want a man to run after you. You have to make eye contact, play with your hair, tease him, and maybe even blush and act more feminine to get his attention. You can playfully touch his arm, give him a little smile even if he didn't say anything funny, and just be playful and fun when you're together. Flirting should spark his interest and let him know what it's like to date you. Flirting should be easy, fun and exciting.
- Don't push. Flirt a little and then move away. Make him work on it.
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Be sexy. Find out what sexuality means to you and get going. If that means fixing your hair and nails, then do it. If it means looking natural and using just a little lip balm and a big smile, then go for it. You can wear sexy clothes or just fit clothes that make you feel great. Do things that make you feel confident and give the impression that you are taking care of your appearance. If you want a man to run after you, then you have to make a little effort.
- This does not mean that you should do anything that seems unnatural to you. You want him to run after you, not the version of you that wears two kilos of makeup on your face and walks around in uncomfortable stilettos.
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Show him that other men are paying attention to you. Don't talk too much about the time you spend with other guys, otherwise the guy will notice that you are trying too hard to get his attention. Instead, show him that you are talking to other guys and be yourself when you do it. Don't laugh too hard, don't touch him too much, or act like you're trying too hard to make him jealous. It should happen on its own. Whether it's going out with your other crush or just a platonic friend, be actively involved in the conversation and be interested and the guy will be jealous of you.
- Although this is very stupid, it is true that if other guys are interested in you, then you become more desirable. A guy will want you even more if he sees that others want you too.
- Make sure it doesn't go too far, though. If a guy always sees you with other guys, he might think that you like to flirt or that you're not interested in him.
Part 2
How to keep him hooked-
Don't always be there. If you pick up the phone as soon as he calls, or you agree to go on a date with him, even if he calls you a few hours in advance, then he will begin to think that nothing interesting is happening in your life except meeting him. If you want a guy to run after you, then he must think that there is a lot going on in your life and that you are hard to keep up with. Of course, you don't want him to think that you're so busy that you don't have time for him or he'll get bored, but find a balance between being busy and free time so that you have time to meet and maintain interest in it.
- If he calls you, don't pick up the phone right away. It's best to wait a few hours before calling him back.
- The same applies to messages. If he texts you, wait a while before replying to him, unless it's something urgent.
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Be a little loose. Once you've established a relationship and spent time together a few times, don't be afraid to show him that you're in the mood when you're not together. You need to call him at work and tell him about the things you would like to do with him. This will keep him thinking about you until he gets to you. Do not overdo it, choose the right moments, and he will be at your little legs.
- Pick the right time. You don't want to tell him you're in a playful mood if he's going to a job interview or spending the day with grandma.
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Surprise him with your kindness from time to time. Of course, hard-to-get games are a lot of fun, but if you overdo it, he will start to think that you impossible touch. You have to give in and give in a little so that he understands that you care about him. Prepare dinner for his birthday. Call just to say hello. Buy two tickets to see his favorite team play. Do something nice to keep him interested and then pull back again. If you cook dinner for him every day, then yes, he will start to take you for granted.
- Find a balance between playing hard-to-get and giving everything to him all at once. You can't always behave one way or the other.
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Don't tell him everything right away. If the second he meets you you tell him that you have five sisters, that you dream of becoming an actress, and that you have a difficult relationship with your mother, he will feel that it is not so difficult to get to know you. Instead, make him work hard. Tell him one and unique thing about yourself when you first meet, and then serve up those rare details like the tastiest chocolate during your subsequent meetings. Make him work hard to get to know you; if he thinks that you are putting everything out, then he will not try.
- Men love to feel that more introverted or less open women are opening up to them. They feel like they have won a prize.
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Do not seek communication with him as often as he does with you. Let him be the one who calls more often. Let him text you to say hello. Wait for him to offer to go to a party together that you both must attend. Although you don't have to do this all the time, you should wait for him to show a lot of initiative, while you should appear busy, or that you have too many important things to worry about if he calls you. Of course, you can still keep in touch with him or suggest a great date for the two of you, but make sure he reciprocates the same.
- No one said that these strategies were designed for the patient. If you're the type of person who goes crazy waiting for a guy to contact you instead of taking the lead and steer the relationship in the direction you want, then this is going to be difficult for you.
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Have fun with your girlfriends. Don't be one of those girls who stops calling her girlfriends as soon as she gets a boyfriend. You should have fun with your girlfriends and enjoy bachelorette parties, regardless of the status of your relationship. If a guy sees that you enjoy going to dances with your girlfriends, drinking cocktails with them, or just hanging out with them, he will think it's cool that you don't forget about your friends. He will also be jealous of you even more because he will think about all those guys who can approach you during these bachelorette parties!
- The time you spend with your girlfriends will keep you focused and help you not obsess over your boyfriend.
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Be unpredictable. If you want a guy to keep chasing you, you need to keep him interested. Suggest a random weekend trip. Swim in the sea, even if the weather is a bit chilly and windy. Go to a diner for a date. If you always do or say the same thing, then you will bore him, and he will stop running after you. But if he doesn't know what to expect, then he will be right where you need him! You don't have to be spontaneous 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, but take the opportunity to surprise him when the moment seems right for you.
- Fight the urge to plan, plan, plan everything and leave something to chance. Let him pick you up from home without asking him what you will do every second of the date.
Imagine a situation: a hunter is going to the forest for prey, takes a gun, goes with a brisk step into the wilderness and suddenly sees a hare sitting on the path. The hunter is sure - something interesting will begin now! He is overwhelmed with excitement and anticipation of victory.
He is preparing to chase, but suddenly ... the hare does something that destroys all patterns: with a happy look and open arms, the “prey” does not run away from the hunter, but in his direction, saying: “Well, finally! Catch me soon! I sit here all day, waiting. I'm all yours!" It's wrong somehow, right?
123RF/Vladyslav Starozhylov
Unfortunately, the same thing often happens in the human world. Women (read "hares") run after men (read "hunters"), not giving them the slightest chance to conquer themselves and feel the sweet taste of victory.
It would seem, well, what a trifle! It doesn't matter who catches up with whom, the main thing is that people feel good together. However, practice shows what else is important.
It is vital for men to realize that the woman who is nearby was conquered by "sweat and blood", and did not come with the words "take me, I am all yours."
Why these “chasers” are so important for relationships and how to run away so that a man runs after you, she said in her “Men love those they conquered. Learning to run away ”psychologist Julia Sviyash.
Why do you need to run away?
You may be surprised, but such “chases” are needed primarily not for you, but for your beloved. It is important for him to feel like a winner, omnipotent, able to go hunting and return with the best prey. What goes easily into the hands is not interesting. Much more interesting to get a trophy for which you need to try.
123RF/Vladimir Ivash
Simply put, a man loves himself almighty next to you, no matter how selfish it may sound. In addition, he unconsciously evaluates his love through everything that he puts into your relationship.
Time, emotions, money, personal space - a man is ready to share all this only with that woman who represents a certain value for him. And the value is that woman, for the sake of conquering which you need to overcome difficulties, defeat the dragon and climb a high tower.
That is why, at the first sign of attention from him, you should not rush into his arms with cries of “Well, finally!” - so you yourself will ruin everything.
Why do women themselves catch up and not run away?
Unfortunately, it often happens that the natural order of things is violated - a woman becomes a "hunter" and a man "prey". The representative of the weaker sex takes a gun and says to the "hare": "Don't worry, I'll do everything myself."
How does this translate into real life? Women go out of their way to please men, take the initiative, call, post on social media, make appointments, try to please by preparing a 10-course meal, try to surprise in sex, etc. In general, they do everything to make life as easy as possible for a man.
What kind of conquest are we talking about? The "prey", which, in theory, should run through the forest wagging its tail invitingly, comes to the hunter's house with bags and says: "Now I am yours forever." It is not surprising that a man instantly loses interest in such a woman. Why strain, if everything is already available - just reach out your hand. Why is this happening?
First, women do not feel valued. It seems to them that they are not worthy of all these courtship, exploits, flowers, serenades under the windows. What kind of nonsense does not come into women's heads: appearance - so-so, age - well over 18, parents always said that one must be strong and take the bull by the horns ...
123RF/Katarzyna Bialasiewicz
All these beliefs prevent a woman from understanding and accepting one simple truth: whatever she is, she is a value. Both for herself and for the men around her.
Secondly, the girls are afraid that if they start running away, then no one will run after them. But just think, do you want to be with a man who doesn't need you so much that he won't even try to win you over?
Thirdly, we are afraid to seem cruel and cold, thereby scaring away the man who is so important to us.
We do not understand a simple truth - such "coldness" and inaccessibility (within reasonable limits, of course) only spurs the interest of a man. Do not forget - you want to pursue only the prey that runs away. If the “prey” imposes itself, throws itself on the neck, calls on the phone, “strangles” with its attention - you want to quickly hide from it in the wilderness.
How to make you run away and he catches up?
First, accept the fact that you are valuable. And when we talk about it, we do not mean pathos, pride or vulgar behavior. Women's value is more about a modest inner feeling that you are a worthy person who is interested in yourself. Don't focus on the man and your relationship. Do not fill your head with thoughts about how to please him (this definitely does not work!), realize that you yourself are a treasure and carry this idea through every moment of your life.
Second, let him take an active interest in you. If you start running after a man, you will feel disgusting, if only because it is not normal. Therefore, give him the opportunity to take the initiative - call on a date, write a message with a wish Good night, to meet you after work to see you for just half an hour at a coffee shop. These gestures, which seem to you just a sweet courtship, play a huge role for a man - in this way, step by step, he wins you and the right to be near you.
123RF/gstockstudio
Thirdly, give him the opportunity to wait for you. No, it's not an hour to sit in a car under the windows while you try on one dress after another. It's about not rushing to the phone as soon as his number flashes on the screen, and not canceling all your plans if he calls you on a date. Of course, at the beginning of a relationship, when love blinds your eyes, it is very difficult to cope with the desire to spend every minute in his company, but this is just the case when you need to stop the horses at a gallop and put out your own huts. If today you give him the opportunity to maximize his essence of a hunter, tomorrow your relationship will reach a qualitatively new level.
In Yulia Sviyash's webinar you will find even more useful information about how to run away from a man so that he catches up with you and falls in love even more. The psychologist talks about the initial stage of the relationship, and about the period when it seems that passions have subsided and you can only run away to the store for milk. Listen, remember, and don't let yourself become the one who "needs the most."
With the difference that running means movement in one step and in one direction, and running means a movement that is repeated and takes place at different times, in different directions. “Here is a yard boy running.” Pushkin . "Don't run away from business." pogov. "He runs away from women and even from me." Griboyedov .
2. Running as a sport (sport.).
3. Move quickly, scurry back and forth, flicker. A shuttle was running fast on a loom. Goosebumps running down the back.
5. Quickly change the direction of the gaze, run from place to place (about the eyes; colloquial). His eyes are moving.
Explanatory Dictionary of Ushakov. D.N. Ushakov. 1935-1940.
See what "RUN" is in other dictionaries:
RUN, run, run, run, sit. run, url. Cossack run, tamb. run, move with an accelerated step, with a rapid rearrangement of the legs; | move quickly from one place to another; move away, approach; | leave, leave and hide ... ... Dahl's Explanatory Dictionary
Run, rush, roam, strive, sniff, fly, scurry. Wed . . See avoid... Dictionary of Russian synonyms and expressions similar in meaning. under. ed. N. Abramova, M .: Russian dictionaries, 1999. run run, rush ... Synonym dictionary
Run... (walk...); (run...) on (fucks, side): go to fuck, hit fornication; (run...) hand-to-hand: to whore; (run ...) for someone l: look after someone l., twist cupids Dictionary of Russian synonyms ... Synonym dictionary
run- RUN, chase, rush ... Dictionary-thesaurus of synonyms of Russian speech
RUN, ayu, aesh; incompatibility 1. The same as running (in 1 and 3 meanings), but denotes an action that is not performed at the same time, not in one step, or in more than one direction. B. jogging. 2. from whom (what). To avoid someone of something, to be eliminated (colloquial). From… … Explanatory dictionary of Ozhegov
- (casp.) sailing in a boat. Samoilov K.I. Marine Dictionary. M. L .: State Naval Publishing House of the NKVMF of the USSR, 1941 ... Marine Dictionary
run- and run, the alternation of g / f in this verb pair gives rise from time to time to linguistic freaks like run (run right) or run (run right) ... Dictionary of Russian language errors
run- ay, ayesh, nsv. 1) Move in space, quickly and sharply pushing off the ground alternately with one or the other foot (repeatedly, at different times and in different directions). Crowds of boys ran towards the city pasture and back ... Popular dictionary of the Russian language
run- Old Slavonic - bgati. Common Slavic - begti (to run). Indo-European - bheg (to run away, run). “Run” is an infinitive from running, a word known from the Old Russian era. Old Russian "bagati" is borrowed from Old Slavonic and goes back to ... ... Etymological dictionary of the Russian language Semenov
Verb, nsv., use. very often Morphology: I run, you run, he/she/it runs, we run, you run, they run, run, run, ran, ran, ran, ran, running, running, running; noun, p. running 1. When… Dictionary of Dmitriev
Books
- Natural run. The Easy Way to Run Without Injury by Danny Abshire. Sports should be fun, not pain and injury from improper technique. The author of this book, co-founder of the well-known company Newton Running, which produces professional running… electronic book
- Take off your pants and run, Margarita Yuzhina. What to do? Some rich spouses died at their dacha ... from starvation, and the waitress Zina Korytskaya is forced to investigate the cause of such a strange death. Ask: what a fright Zina should ...