When you can live half life after childbirth. Features of sexual life after childbirth
A healthy and regular intimate life of spouses is the key to family happiness and warm relations between partners. Pregnancy and subsequent childbirth break the schedule of sexual relations. Husband suffers the most. He ceases to feel needed and loved, as a result of which disagreements may arise in the family. How to make intimate life after childbirth better and when you can sleep with your husband again after the birth of a baby.
Necessity or Prejudice
Many husbands believe that the lack of acts of love in the first weeks after childbirth is a relic of the past. Men often do not understand the possible consequences of an early resumption of sexual activity and often incline their wife to intimacy before the due date after childbirth.
Today, experts say that the early resumption of intimacy between spouses can lead to the development of many complications. The period of sexual rest prescribed by the doctor must be strictly observed. During this time, the body of a young mother recovers after childbirth, postpartum discharge comes out, the uterus, cervix and vagina return to normal. If you do not endure the rest period, you can bring the infection into the uterus, which threatens inflammatory diseases and even infertility.
How long is the dormant period
Given the individuality of each organism, it is impossible to say exactly until one day how long the ban on sexual relations between spouses. Sexual life after childbirth can resume only after the cessation of lochia. If everything is fine with you, the discharge has stopped, and you feel good, you can visit a gynecologist to resolve the issue of resuming intimacy with your spouse.
At the appointment, the gynecologist will interview you, examine you, take the necessary tests and decide whether you can sleep with your husband, or if you should wait a little longer. Typically, the rest period lasts from 6 to 8 weeks. However, there are exceptions.
So, for example, if a young mother has postpartum complications, the rest period can be extended until complete recovery.
Sex issues concern men and women throughout their lives, but especially in the period after childbirth. Change in the usual daily routine, fatigue, psychological problems, discomfort in a young mother due to stitches and individual characteristics of the body can lead to serious disagreements in the family. However, sometimes representatives of the stronger sex do not want intimacy: the status of a father also imposes certain obligations and can provoke a temporary loss of libido. How to deal with problems?
How long is the abstinence period
The standard period of temporary abstinence after childbirth (both first and repeated) is 6-8 weeks. But in the ideal case, when there are no ruptures, episiotomies and other complications, and also if the mother herself wants sex, doctors allow her to return to sexual activity after 4 weeks, provided that the postpartum discharge stops.
One and a half to two months after childbirth - a period of forced abstinence from sexPlease note: 4 weeks is the minimum allowable period for a return to the world of great sex!
After a premature birth (miscarriage), doctors recommend waiting until the next period before returning to a normal sexual life. An unfortunate event due to a purge traumatizes the uterus, which needs time to recover. On average, a couple needs to wait about 30 days, and then follow the rules: avoid too deep penetration, use lubricant, reduce the frequency of sex to 1-2 times a week for 2-3 months after the incident.
After a caesarean section, the period of abstinence is the same as after a natural birth: 6-8 weeks. If you waited for the allotted time, the stitches heal well and the discharge no longer bothers you, light the candles and enjoy each other!
As for masturbation
If you get relief from a clitoral orgasm, experimentation (including oral sex) is acceptable as early as a week or two after giving birth. Masturbation with vibrators, dildos, and other sex toys is subject to the same abstinence period as regular sex: 6-8 weeks.
The prohibition applies only to sex or masturbation in which there is penetration into the vagina. Oral and clitoral caresses will help you get pleasure without harm to the body.
Why the female body is not ready for sex in the first 1-2 months after childbirth
The time of sexual rest is necessary for the uterus to be cleansed of blood, placental remnants and return to its previous state. Early experiments are not only unpleasant for a woman, but also dangerous. After childbirth, the inner surface of the genital organ, in fact, is an open wound and is very susceptible to infections. Sex during abstinence is likely to lead to inflammation of the uterus, suppuration of the sutures, high temperature and a course of antibiotics, which will force you to stop breastfeeding. In some cases, treatment is carried out in a hospital.
It is advisable to visit a gynecologist before resuming sexual relations to make sure that sex does not cause problems.
In addition to discomfort, discharge, pain, the mental state of a woman plays an important role. Her body has changed, its former shape has been lost, stretch marks, scars have appeared, and a baby is hanging on her chest. Hormonal surges also do not add stability to the state of a young mother. Postpartum depression may set in. If anxiety, tearfulness, mood swings, fatigue, and appetite disturbances do not go away after 1-2 months after childbirth, the help of a psychologist is needed.
Intimacy problems: how to deal with them
The reasons for not wanting sex after childbirth are different.
- Fatigue due to the constant care of the child. Solution: a woman should rest as much as she needs, sleep at least 8 hours a day. Remember, a happy and rested mom is much more important than cleaning the floors on time or a five-course dinner.
- Discomfort due to dryness in the vagina. The lack of estrogen in the body does not allow the lubricant to be produced in sufficient quantities. Solution: use lubricants (gels to moisturize and ease friction).
- Change in the anatomy of the vagina. After childbirth, it expands, there is no former narrowness that men like. Ruptures and episiotomy lead to the formation of scars, which also affect the condition of the mucosa (especially with the unscrupulous work of the doctor). Solution: wait for recovery. Kegel exercises help.
- Decreased libido. The hormone oxytocin is released into the blood during breastfeeding, it is designed to form a strong bond with the child. Reluctance to have sex is a natural mechanism that is necessary for a young mother to rest and not become pregnant again too quickly. If the baby is bottle-fed, the return to a normal sexual life is much faster.
Lack of sex after childbirth can be a big problem for new parents
How to bring sex back into the lives of new parents
Childbirth is stressful for both parents, and you need to get out of a difficult psychological state gently and gradually. For some married couples, the return to sex occurs absolutely naturally, by mutual consent. Others start scandals. Both of these are the norm.
- from the birth of a child to 1 month - sex is virtually excluded;
- up to six months - breastfeeding leaves an imprint on intimate life. One of the most sexual and erogenous zones of a woman is responsible for the nutrition of the crumbs, milk is released at the most inopportune moment, which cannot but affect the quality of sex;
- from six months to a year - the time for grinding parents to a new status. Sex gradually becomes more stable, even;
- the second year of parenthood will bring new sensory sensations to your bed, the spouses are already involved and can enjoy each other to the fullest;
- two years after birth, libido is usually fully restored.
To bring sex back into the lives of young parents, you need to:
- wait for the end of lochia;
- if there are stitches, get confirmation from the gynecologist that everything is in order;
- choose a traditional (missionary) position for the first time;
- don't forget the lubricant.
Feedback from women: how to want sex
I had a caesarean, and then it was very good. painfully. The husband was worried that because of him. Then we went to the doctor together. Did a few surveys. It turned out that once a month, for several days, my ovary enlarged, as with a normal menstrual cycle (although my period only started a year and a month after giving birth). As we later calculated, all our attempts fell just on these days. And they also advised us banal lubrication and longer foreplay, so that I would be properly aroused. 100% helped us.
After the first birth, I lost my desire, not immediately, of course, but after a while, maybe fatigue affected, maybe breastfeeding, but I didn’t say anything to my husband. I just tried to set myself up, to inspire that I really want to, and so on. I understood that it was on an emotional level, and the problem was in my head, and somehow then everything went away, and after the second birth it became even better in the sexual sphere, and the desire did not disappear anywhere, so go for it!! And as for the stitches, I told my husband what positions I was uncomfortable with when I pulled the stitch, and we chose those from which I was comfortable.
https://mamochki.by/forum/41/334
Decreased libido in men
There is a situation when, after the appearance of a baby in the family, a young dad flatly refuses to have sex. He can name a variety of reasons: “the child is sleeping, I’m afraid to wake you up”, “today I’m tired, let’s go tomorrow”, “an interesting film, I want to watch it” and even “what are you, you are now a Mother, can you?”. The origins of this most often lie in psychology. Suspicious, anxious men are afraid to harm a woman, considering her a fragile creature in need of care and guardianship. The process of breastfeeding only adds stones to the wall growing between the spouses, the husband still looks at his wife with adoration, but at the same time he sees in front of him not a sexual object, but the Madonna and Child. From here it is difficult to return to the previous relationship, but it is quite possible.
Sometimes after childbirth, the libido disappears not from the wife, but from the husband
Do not rush your husband, let him get used to your new role in the family. In no case do not talk about the problem with the libido. On the contrary, praise him, compliment him below the belt, make dirty comments (if it is customary in your family), and help ignite the fire of passion. If there is no positive progress within 3-4 months, you should think about visiting a psychologist or a sexologist.
Physiological reasons are associated with a change in the quality of sex (the vagina has become larger, there is no former elasticity, lubrication is poorly produced). To solve them, it takes time to recover female body after childbirth, as well as aids (for example, lubricants).
Features of sex after childbirth and caesarean section
Childbirth is a natural process, but sometimes after them changes occur in the female body that directly affect the quality of sex.
Sex with bladder prolapse
During pregnancy and childbirth, the ligaments and muscles in the vaginal area are stretched and lose their elasticity. As a result, the prolapse of the bladder (cystocele) develops, which may even fall out of the genital organs.
Bladder prolapse usually occurs after complicated childbirth, with caesarean section this problem is very rare
Symptoms:
- urinary incontinence when coughing, laughing, nervous shocks;
- pain in the lumbar region, including during sex;
- lack of relief even after going to the toilet;
- constant heaviness in the genital area.
Any of these signs is a reason to see a doctor. For the period of treatment from sex, as well as from physical activity, it is necessary to refuse.
Sex during lochia
Lochia - postpartum discharge (after natural childbirth, cesarean section), which consist of dead endometrium, placental remnants, blood and other traces of the fetus in the female body. They go out until the uterus is completely restored.
Lochia stops within 6-8 weeks after delivery. It is also considered normal if they ended earlier, at 4–5 weeks, or lasted until the 9th. All the time while a woman has postpartum discharge, you can’t have sex! An active sex life slows down the recovery of the female body and can provoke an infection of the uterus.
Feelings during intimacy
Many women say that the first sex after childbirth is comparable to the loss of virginity, the first orgasm after a cesarean can be very painful, after an episiotomy, pain and pain in the lower abdomen are felt, after a premature birth, sexual contact provokes feelings of guilt. According to Western experts (in particular, obstetrician-gynecologist Rebecca Booth from the USA thinks so), the reason for this is not only anatomical changes, but also hormonal changes in the woman's body.
The first sex after childbirth can bring surprises. For example, a woman often feels that her husband's penis has become smaller and thinner. The fact is that the vagina is stretched under the influence of hormones, as well as during the passage of the baby through the birth canal, so the sensations change.
Often, mothers note that sex is unpleasant only after the first birth. With the birth of the second and subsequent children, sensations reach a new level. Someone gets the first vaginal orgasm in their life, someone boasts of multiple orgasms, and it seems to someone that “what we previously considered an orgasm turned out to be asthma.”
Reviews about sex after childbirth
Apparently it’s like for someone, before giving birth, sex was hard labor for me, let’s say, I didn’t really experience an orgasm, after giving birth everything changed for me! On the contrary, I began to get excited and feel often! I asked my husband if there were changes, he said that nothing had changed there (in general, the bucket does not fly by with a whistle)))))))) So good luck to you)
Guest
I had my incisions stitched up. The husband says there is no difference, although I asked to tell the truth! She said that I would do an operation if it was wide. I experienced an orgasm in sex for the first time after giving birth! But it's not about physiology. but in the head. I couldn’t relax before, I kept thinking about how I look, whether I’m doing the right thing. I was ashamed, for example, to help myself with my hand. That is, I helped, but there was shame in my head! And she could not "allow" herself to finish. And after pregnancy and childbirth, when you had to spread your legs a hundred times before different people... Both men and women-doctors looked at me and felt me. Somehow, after such an attitude, shame with her husband disappeared. I became liberated!
Jess
http://www.woman.ru/relations/sex/thread/4300096/
After giving birth, my feelings changed for the better. The orgasm has become brighter, apparently, as they say, the G-spot has become more sensitive. I started wanting more. She finished so that milk splashed from her chest from an orgasm. Nursed 1 year 2 months. The husband says that everything is still inside. After giving birth, from a young, thin chicken, I turned into a sensual woman. Before giving birth, there were orgasms, but not that.
Guest
http://www.woman.ru/relations/sex/thread/4300096/
I gave birth to a girl 2 months ago))) And I noticed that only after the second birth I became more sensitive, and every time with my husband it’s like the first time))))
Guardian Angel
After the first birth, the sensations became brighter. After the second, even brighter.
https://lady.mail.ru/forum/topic/oshhushhenija_v_sekse_postle_rodov/
Kegel exercises
If sex has lost its magic, the husband's penis seems too thin, and the man, in turn, complains about the stretching of the vagina, you should think about training. Kegel exercises will help you. Gymnastics not only contributes to a quick return to a normal sexual life, but also allows you to experience new sensations from intimacy.
Kegel exercises were developed by the American gynecologist Arnold Kegel in the middle of the 20th century. The complex is designed to train the muscles of the perineum in order to prevent and treat inflammation of the genital organs, hemorrhoids, urinary incontinence, venous congestion, as well as to improve sexual functionality.
Execution technique
Insert your finger into the vagina and try to squeeze it (as a training, you can use more pleasant things, such as sex toys or your husband's penis). Happened? This is the muscle you need to train. Couldn't find? Then try another method: every time you go to the toilet "in a small way", stop and resume urinating with the help of internal muscles.
Directly for training, tighten your muscles, as you did when urinating, hold for 3-4 seconds, relax. Repeat 10 times. Gradually increase the time to 20 seconds. Another way: lie on your back, pull in your pelvic floor muscles (to do this, tighten your buttocks, lift your legs up and in), hold for 5 seconds, relax. Repeat 10 times.
The amount of exercise and frequency of exercise should be discussed with your gynecologist.
For quick results, do the exercises 3-4 times a day. They can be performed anytime, anywhere: at work, in line at the store, at the bus stop public transport etc.
Kegel exercises can be done even at the workplace - a kind of warm-up is invisible to outsiders, but very useful for you
Video: exercises to strengthen the muscles of the pelvic floor
Intimate plastic
If, despite all your actions, the muscles of the vagina and pelvic floor have not returned to normal, it may be worth contacting a plastic surgeon.
What solves plastic?
- Will return the lowered uterus to the right place.
- Removes scars after stitches.
- Reduces the volume of the vagina.
- It will return pleasant sensations during sex to both partners.
- Cope with urinary incontinence (bladder prolapse).
- Will return the perineum and labia prenatal appearance.
- Fix bad sutures.
Intimate plastic surgery allows you to restore an attractive appearance to the genitals and eliminate the problems that have arisen after childbirth
Intimate plastic surgery is indicated if the woman no longer plans to become pregnant or agrees to give birth by caesarean section. Approximate prices (Moscow): reduction of the labia - from 25 thousand rubles, laser rejuvenation of the vagina - from 20 thousand rubles, plastic surgery of the clitoris - from 20 thousand rubles, plastic surgery of the vagina - from 25 thousand rubles. The final cost depends on the complexity and volume of work.
Deviations during and after sex
You should be alert to any unpleasant consequences after sex. In the first place among them is bleeding. Most often, the appearance of blood suggests that you were in a hurry to return to an active sex life. Be sure to visit a gynecologist to make sure that everything is in order with your health.
Discharge of an incomprehensible color (yellow-green, greenish, similar to snot) is a bad sign that can indicate both endometritis, cervical erosion, and inflammatory process with the release of pus, and also be a sign of gonorrhea, chlamydia, trichomoniasis. It is very bad if there is an unpleasant smell. Be sure to visit a gynecologist!
If 4-6 months have passed after childbirth, but the woman is still very painful during sex, this is also an alarming sign. Pain is caused by vaginal infections and genitourinary system, inflammation, birth trauma, changes hormonal background and other reasons. Diagnosis and therapy is established by the doctor.
Effective methods of contraception
Certainly the safest and effective way protection is the complete absence of sexual intercourse. But if you are not ready to give up sex (and you don’t need to), choose a contraceptive method that suits both you and your partner.
After a caesarean section, it is necessary to carefully protect yourself, pregnancy is possible only after two years (this is how long the scar on the uterus heals).
If you're sure you don't want any more children, it might make sense to consider sterilization, which comes in both male and female. In men, the vas deferens are ligated, in women, the fallopian tubes. The so-called natural methods (counting safe days, coitus interruptus) are not highly effective, it is additionally recommended to use more reliable means of protection.
Photo gallery: methods of contraception used after childbirth
Lactation does not guarantee against pregnancy Condoms are the most popular method of contraception breastfeeding The barrier method of contraception is considered the most affordable and one of the most effective The spiral can be placed immediately after childbirth
Even if some problems prevent you from quickly returning to normal sex, don't worry! Having a baby and having a baby doesn't mean you can't enjoy each other anymore. Gradually, you will adjust to the new environment and, perhaps, even find positive aspects in this. Take care of your health and well-being, get more rest and sometimes leave the baby with your grandmother to spend time for your own pleasure.
Well, pregnancy and childbirth are over, and you have become a happy mother. You are absorbed by worries about the baby, but now you have noticed that your husband also requires your attention. How sex life happens after childbirth, and what to do if you don’t feel like sex, you will read further in the article. During childbirth, the tone of the uterus is very high, when the baby is born, the birth canal of the woman is injured. Of course, in order for the body of the uterus and vagina to recover in the postpartum period, it will take a considerable time.
When can you start having sex after childbirth?
When you leave the maternity hospital, the doctors will advise you with recommendations and advice, and among them, a ban on sexual life after childbirth for about one to two months.
Reasons why you should not have sex immediately after giving birth:
- The condition of the uterus should return to normal. For some time, the uterus after childbirth is still in good shape, and it takes time for it to shrink to its previous normal size. Also, in the place where the placenta was located, there is now a continuous wound that must heal, because if an infection gets there, inflammation of the uterus can develop.
- The vagina should also bounce back, because it is still stretched. It also takes about a month and a half. To speed up this process, doctors recommend performing exercises for the muscles of the perineum.
In any case, before returning to sexual activity after childbirth, it is necessary to resolve this issue together, because if a man insists furiously, this will only ruin your relationship with him.
What problems can arise during sexual activity after childbirth?
Alas, not everything is as good as we would like. When having sex after childbirth, there may be problems of a different nature, which you will learn about below.
- Pain syndrome. If there is pain, then it is better to refrain from having sex for the time being. The stitches that were applied in places of vaginal tears may hurt. Also, pain can be due to vaginal dryness, so use lubes and lubricants.
- A woman's reluctance to have sex. Perhaps this is the most common problem among women. A number of factors can influence a woman's desire to have sex. First, desire may be absent due to pain in the perineum due to stitches. Secondly, it gives a strong influence. If a woman herself looks after the child, cooks and cleans the house, then there is no strength left for sex. A man needs to shoulder some of the work on his shoulders, because this is in his interests.
- Fear of having sex. Often a woman may simply be afraid that it will hurt or the child may wake up at this time, and she will not be there.
- Also, a woman may not feel attractive, as her figure has noticeably suffered. The husband must reassure the woman and convince him that she is always beautiful for him.
If in any sexual position a woman is in pain, try to change her, maybe in a different position you will be more comfortable and not hurt.
A separate issue for a woman is an orgasm after childbirth. After childbirth, the vagina loses its elasticity, so an orgasm after childbirth may not come immediately and it is more difficult to get it. In this case, special gymnastics and exercises for the perineum will help you. Also, if you did gymnastics during pregnancy, then it will be easier for you to survive the difficulties after the birth period.
Women who have had a caesarean section may be able to have sex earlier because the muscles of the vagina were not involved in childbirth and they are not injured. However, a wound also remained at the placenta attachment site, and most importantly, it will not allow infection to enter there, so carefully monitor your hygiene.
Is it possible to get pregnant after giving birth for the first time months
This question worries women for a reason, because few people want to get pregnant again, having already a newborn child. You can get pregnant only if a woman has menstruation, and after childbirth they do not appear for quite a long time. The appearance of menstruation after childbirth directly depends on whether you are breastfeeding your baby, and how often.
In the body of a woman after childbirth, the hormone prolactin is produced, which is responsible for the production of milk, and at the same time, blocks the reproductive system and the appearance of menstruation.
However, is it possible to get pregnant after childbirth if:
- If a woman feeds her baby regularly every two to three hours, then she will not be able to get pregnant.
- Also, if you do not introduce any complementary foods and exclusively breastfeed, you will not be able to get pregnant either.
Of course, there are exceptions and getting pregnant is possible if you are breastfeeding and complementary feeding, or not breastfeeding at all. If you have sex with your husband without breastfeeding, you can get pregnant already during the first ovulation, which happens before the onset of menstruation.
Another question is whether it is possible to get pregnant after a caesarean section. In this case, it is strongly not recommended to become pregnant again within two years. It is required that the scar on the uterus completely heal and form, because a new pregnancy can provoke its rupture, which threatens the life of both the fetus and the mother.
Contraception after childbirth - what is possible
If a woman is afraid of getting pregnant again after giving birth, then this is an extremely important issue. Of course, it is better to consult a doctor about whether candles and pills can be used as contraception, because you are breastfeeding, and not all drugs are approved for use.
It is important, when resuming sexual activity after childbirth, to pay attention to your vagina, as many people experience dryness. Be sure to purchase a gel lubricant in a pharmacy and use it liberally.
Permitted methods of contraception after childbirth:
- Condom. This method of contraception is the most common, and it can definitely be used after childbirth. The main thing is to use enough lubricant so that the woman does not feel discomfort. You can use a condom with a spermicide that will kill sperm, so the effectiveness of this method will increase.
- calendar method. This method is most likely not suitable for you, because it is not reliable anyway, and even more so during irregular periods.
- Spiral after childbirth. it good method contraception after childbirth, because the spiral does not affect the production of milk in any way and is effective. Most often, it is recommended to put a spiral on those who have already given birth. The spiral after childbirth can be installed after six to eight weeks. You can not install a spiral after childbirth for those who have heavy and painful periods, or any inflammation of the genital organs.
- cap or diaphragm. This method also does not affect milk production. If you used this method of contraception before pregnancy, then after giving birth, check the size, because now you may need a larger one. Also, a cap or diaphragm can be installed six to eight months after birth, and only an experienced doctor should do this.
- Hormonal pills may contain estrogens and progestogens. Estrogen reduces milk production, so you can only buy pills with progestogens. This method is not very reliable, so think before buying the drug.
When choosing contraception and becoming sexually active after childbirth, be sure to consult with your doctor to be sure that you are well and your body has fully recovered.
“When can I have sex after giving birth” is a question that worries both new and future parents! And this is absolutely not in vain - with the birth of a child, many things change in married life, including sex. Let's try to understand this difficult question.
After discharge from the hospital, doctors give standard recommendations: abstinence for 6-8 weeks. This is due to the fact that after childbirth, the uterus needs to be freed from the remnants of blood. So, the place to which the placenta was attached turns into an open wound during childbirth. Abstinence for this time is necessary for uterine contraction, repair of damaged tissues, etc. Therefore, until they run out - this is about a month or a month and a half, gynecologists recommend abstinence from vaginal contacts for the following reasons:
- Firstly, possible infection into the uterus, cervix, or vagina.
- Second, after intercourse possible re-bleeding due to the fact that the blood clots formed in the vessels damaged during childbirth can come off due to the blows of the penis during intercourse.
- Thirdly, if the birth was complicated by an episiotomy (rupture of the perineum followed by suturing), then recovery time may be longer even up to 2-3 months - until all the seams are completely healed.
" Very many women feel soreness at the beginning of the resumption of sexual intercourse after childbirth.
When this discomfort can pass depends on the individual, and no doctor can predict the exact time. There are a lot of sensitive nerves in the female genital area, when the perineum is torn, they are damaged, and these nerve endings can be clamped in the sutures. And because the matching of these torn edges cannot be 100% accurate, due to the fact that the tissues are very mobile and soft, the configuration of the vagina can be somewhat changed. This can provoke pain even in those positions that were previously very comfortable for a woman.
Sex after caesarean section
" Delivery by caesarean section also involves abstinence for 4-6 weeks.
And the point is not only in the scar on the uterus, which, as in natural childbirth heals the same 4-6 weeks, but in the place where the placenta was attached, it should also heal. It should be noted that the seam on the abdomen heals much earlier, but, unfortunately, it is not the main indicator of muscle recovery.
Difficulties in sex
Let's try to analyze the main "difficulties of sex" faced by young parents.
1. Lack of natural lubrication - vaginal dryness.
This is often due to the fact that in the body of a woman after childbirth, the level of estrogen (pleasure hormone). It is not difficult to overcome this problem, it is enough to purchase in specialized stores lubricant gel. And if you support breastfeeding, then you should definitely carefully study the composition of ointments, since many of them contain hormones which is strictly contraindicated in breastfeeding.
2. Weakening of sensitivity.
“Everything has become huge, there is no sensitivity” - many women and men note after childbirth. This is primarily due to the fact that after the baby's head passes through the birth canal, the vaginal muscles become sluggish and relaxed. Some women even become depressed after childbirth due to the fact that before childbirth they could experience both orgasm and arousal, and after childbirth they lost it. And by the way, the legend that it was after giving birth that a woman began to experience an orgasm does not correspond to reality. Rather, it only seems purely psychological, since from a physiological point of view, due to the weakening of the walls of the vagina, there is a weakening of sensitivity, and hence a decrease in excitation.
You can speed up the recovery process by doing Kegel exercises. These exercises improve blood circulation, increase sexual tone, and may even help control orgasms. In order to master the skill of contraction of the muscle, shaped like a figure eight and covering the entrance to the vagina and anus, you need to slowly draw in the anus, trying to contract the muscle surrounding the vagina. This movement resembles the moment when you can consciously stop urinating. This exercise can be done in any position at any time, starting with 1 time per second, 30 times for every hour. There is another exercise for the same muscle, when within 5 seconds there is a slow retraction, and then a slow relaxation in the same 5 seconds. At this time, you can imagine that you are drawing something into yourself and sending it up the spine.
" These exercises are remarkable in that they allow you to practice at any time: on a walk, lying in front of the TV, etc.
3. Pain at the entrance to the vagina and in the perineum.
At the beginning of the resumption of sexual relations, a woman should try to relax as much as possible and not interfere with penetration. The most suitable positions for this are "face to face" and "woman on top", in which you can independently control the level of penetration of your partner, which will help to avoid pain. Still, unfortunately, after suturing, the configuration of the vagina can be changed, and so, against the background of the special sensitivity of the mucous membranes and skin in the perineum after childbirth, pressure during intercourse almost always leads to pain.
Help soften those seams. can ointments for keloid sutures, for example, Solcoseryl, Kontratubeks, etc.
It is extremely rare, but still there are cases when pain is associated with significant violations of the anatomy of the vagina that occurred after the operation during childbirth and this problem is solved only surgical intervention.
4.Psychological difficulties, associated with fatigue, postpartum depression against the background of a changed figure, etc.
It happens that after 9 months of bearing a child, a woman has become so close and accustomed to him that after giving birth, her thoughts can occupy nothing but him.
In addition, it is inherent in nature that the female does not need another cub, as long as this requires care and attention, therefore she does not experience sexual attraction. The burden of responsibility and fear for the child can completely “cover” a woman and even develop into depression, against the backdrop of general incomprehensibility and isolation. If it is so difficult for you to leave the child alone, you can purchase a baby monitor and, during the child’s sleep, retire with your spouse, but at the same time “be on the lookout”.
Many women may feel unattractive due to enlarged breasts, flattened waists, and other changes that inevitably come with childbirth.
"Psychologists still advise giving your partner the right to choose, and if he wants you, then all your complexes are in vain.
Of course, this does not mean that you need to relax, dissolve in the child and do nothing. Your current figure is just a temporary phenomenon and it all depends on you: stick to a balanced and healthy eating(which will be useful not only for you, but also for your baby who is breastfeeding), do gymnastics, walk more, etc. If, nevertheless, the desire is gone, then you should not immediately refuse your spouse, try to remember best moments your sex life. Try to carve out a moment just for the two of you, arrange a romantic evening (or morning) with beautiful underwear and everything that worried you before the baby was born. And most importantly, remember that sex is not a service "for a husband", that it is joy and positive emotions for the two of you!
So, the time for determining the beginning of sexual life remains with the woman, and everyone has the right to determine this period for herself, but I really want the lovely spouses, despite all the difficulties of the first days, weeks and months spent with a newborn baby, not to go in cycles only in the child and remember that only mutual love, support for each other's interests and mutual respect will help you return the joy of sex, regardless of how long after giving birth you resume it.
The birth of a long-awaited baby has a huge impact on a young family. Changes are taking place in almost all areas, including in sex. One of the problems is solving the issue of when after childbirth you can live an intimate life. The man suffers the most from the change in the schedule of sexual relations and the need for abstinence.
The resumption of sexual relations is influenced by many factors of a physiological and psycho-emotional nature. Among these factors, a special place is occupied by the passage of pregnancy, the severity and complications during the birth of a child, the recovery of a woman in the postpartum period.
Already in the maternity hospital, a young mother receives the first recommendations from a doctor about how long after childbirth one should not engage in intimate life. The average period for abstinence, which is recommended by doctors, is 4-6 weeks.
The standard time is recommended if the pregnancy and the birth itself passed without complications, without ruptures, incisions, heavy bleeding and in a natural way. Caesarean section imposes certain restrictions on the beginning of a couple's sexual relationship.
The specified time period is required.
- The uterus should return to the state it was in before pregnancy. Bloody issues indicate that the recovery process of the uterus continues.
- The stretched vagina should return to its shape.
- Healed place of attachment of the placenta to the wall of the uterus. The premature onset of sexual life often leads to the penetration of infections into the inflamed wound and the development of endometritis - inflammation of the uterus.
- With a caesarean section, it is necessary to wait for the complete healing of the suture on the uterus itself. Often, when the suture on the skin of the abdomen heals, the internal scar left during the operation on the uterus has not yet healed. This can be determined only after examination by specialists.
How when to start
The period of abstinence becomes one of the most critical in the relationship of a young family. A man tries to hasten the beginning of a regular sexual life, often reproaching his wife for not wanting intimacy, for coldness. How long after childbirth can you start having sex - most women decide this issue on their own, based on their own feelings and the physiological state of the body.
Before starting an active intimate relationship, it is necessary to undergo an examination and get advice from a gynecologist when it is safe to have sex after childbirth. The doctor will recommend those contraceptives that are best suited in a particular case.
Sex is not just direct sexual intercourse. In sexual life after childbirth, there are many ways to give spouses satisfaction to each other. Intimate caresses, as well as an oral way to satisfy a husband, are the types of sex that spouses can do. If the desire is mutual and it is accompanied by an appropriate attitude, then the connection of young people will only become stronger.
The first intimacy after the birth of a child very often reminds couples of the “first time”, which was accompanied by pain for the woman. That is why a man should be especially attentive to his wife. The husband must be very careful. The first sexual intercourse does not have to be completed. In case of severe pain, it must be interrupted.
You need to choose the right posture. Many postures used in the past can now be uncomfortable. Until the woman has fully restored her health, the choice of a position for sexual intercourse should be left to the wife. Frictions should be slow, a man should not rush. In the event of an interruption of the act, young people can give pleasure to each other in another way.
To strengthen the intimate muscles, there is a large group of exercises. The simplest and most affordable for all women will help to quickly resume sexual life.
Exercise: Lie on the floor on your back. The pelvic floor muscles work. Exhale - the pelvic muscles contract. Inhale - unclench the muscles. 1 approach - 10-15 times. Movements begin slowly, gradually accelerating.
Doctors recommend performing Kegel exercises to restore sensitivity. These exercises increase the tone of the muscles of the perineum. The first time to understand which muscles need to be reduced, an attempt to stop urination by arbitrarily straining will help. These are the muscles that need to be trained. The woman, having taken a comfortable position, begins to contract her muscles. Do 2-3 times a day from 10 times approach. The number of contractions is gradually increased to 50 in one approach.
I don `t want
Many women change their attitude to intimate life after the past birth. Some husbands regard the wife's refusal to start sexual relations as frigidity that has appeared, make scandals. There are many reasons why a new mother is afraid to start living a fulfilling sex life. Often this failure is due to psychological condition young mother.
After the birth of a child, a woman's usual life changes dramatically. Now all the time is subordinated to caring for the child. “There is no time for yourself and for your husband,” young mothers often say after giving birth. To save a family, it is necessary not only to take care of the child, but also to support the natural desire of the husband to have sex, you cannot refuse to be close to your loved one.
Decreased desire is a protective function of the body, given to a person nature. The little man needs constant care in order to grow. Regular sex can lead to a new pregnancy, which will not give proper care to the first child. To prevent an early onset of intimate life after the birth of a baby, a woman's production of estrogen, the hormone responsible for the feeling of pleasure, decreases.
Reasons that influence desire:
Contraception
For many couples, the appearance of a second child in the near future is undesirable, which is why the issue of contraception is so important. Many people think that a breastfeeding mother cannot get pregnant. Breastfeeding reduces the possibility of re-pregnancy, but does not give a 100% guarantee that a woman will not become pregnant.